Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Cleansing breaths

Last night, Gunter and I attended our second childbirth class, "Breathing and Relaxation Techniques." Because you know, relaxation is important when you’re in the LEAST relaxing situation of your life, and breathing is important…well, all the time.

I didn’t figure this class would impart information as important as some of the others (e.g., "Baby Saver"), but we went anyway because the more I know, the better.

In this case, however, I'm thinking what I don’t know won’t hurt me.

I say that because this particular class seemed designed more for those brave women choosing natural child BIRTH (imagine me saying it just like Bill Cosby), which according to Cosby himself, is a lot like pulling your bottom lip over your head. We even watched a video of natural child BIRTH, and it was delightful, let me tell you.

The point that I became really convinced that UN-natural child BIRTH was the way to go was when the nurse told us that nausea and v***ting (I can’t bring myself to post the v-word on my blog) were common during labor – 8 out of 10! In light of my phobia, I decided that if I stood a better chance avoiding that with drugs, then bring on the drugs! Maybe I can sleep through that part. Judging by the natural child BIRTH video, however, Gunter’s chances of nausea and v***ting are pretty high. Good thing we saved a couple of those fast-working chemo tablets…

We learned how to breathe and hopefully distract attention away from contractions, etc. (By the way, does anybody really do the breathing like they say, or is that just on TV?) Also helpful was instruction on the best way to sit to keep your feet from falling asleep and details on the stages of labor (got a little woozy again, but not as bad as last time).

All in all, I’m glad we went. If I get just one relaxation shoulder massage during labor, it will have been worth it.

5 comments:

Heather said...

Ha.. I love that you can even type the "v" word. (That sounds so dirty)
I, personally, don't understand why ANYONE would want to do it naturally. If I ever have a baby, I hope to be drugged up beyond belief. :)

Christi said...

Go with the drugs, girl. Before, during and especially AFTER!

Unknown said...

Oh, how I remember those classes. I learned alot but didn't use any of it during labor and delivery! And as for a shoulder massage...believe me, you won't want anyone touching you! That is the farthest thing from your mind. You are just concentrating on the breathing during contractions and yes, Gunter will probably have to remind you to breathe. My natural tendency was to tense up and hold my breath to get through it. I was/am scared of needles so the epidural was out of the question but I changed my mind at 7 cm. :) I didn't want the other drugs because of the effects it can have on the baby. Anyway, the thing I enjoyed most was that Daniel and I got to spend some quality time together to focus on the new being that was growing inside me...and to learn just what we had gotten ourselves into! Nothing goes as planned during L&D so just pray God gives you a smooth delivery and a healthy baby!

Anonymous said...

Bet,
LOVED THIS BLOG!!! You are my little "comic relief" on a bad day. Thank you for sharing your humor (and honesty). I think I will pull out the ol' Bill Cosby video.
Love,
Momma

Debbie K. said...

Ha! Ha! Bethany, I remember those days. When April was born (1981) the Lamaze classes were so popular and everyone was going natural. It was the right thing to do as I had read. So we went to those classes and learned the breathing techniques. Well, they are easier in class and practice than while the labor pains are actually upon you. But I had no choice since she decided that she wanted to get here fast and I only labored for 2 hours. Almost did not make it to the hospital. LOL!!!
Well, today it is a lot different and you & Gunter decide which is best for your pain level. It is all the same in the end - a beautiful baby.
Not sure if you know Kelley Michelle came a day earlier than planned. Check out my blog for some pictures. Misty is having a tough time today, but that is to be expected. She is such a wonderful and loving mommy.