Thursday, July 9, 2009

Favorite Thing #323: Sweet Tea in a Mason Jar/Southernisms

This post will double as a "favorite thing" because there is nothing better than sweet iced tea in a cold mason jar with a little lemon. Nothing! Goodness gracious.


I yanked the part below from an e-mail forward, but it totally spoke to me. I was proud to identify with every one. If you don't, well bless your heart!


Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
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Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
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Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
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All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
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Only Southerners grow up knowing that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
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Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
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No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
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A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb or an adverb.
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Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
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Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
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Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
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When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
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Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
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And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
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And for those who are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls' front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

3 comments:

Josh and Lyndsay said...

Now that you spoke of sweet tea, I think I am going to make me some!! Sounds really good!! I'm with you, there is nothing like good ole' sweet tea with a fresh lemon!

Debbie K. said...

Love, love, love sweet tea (even for breakfast)! I am not quite a true Southerner, but I am learning! Cute post, Bethany.

Anonymous said...

Oh, that is FUNNY! Some of my husband's family hails from the south but even they probably aren't this southern... secretly we both would love the south! Sweet tea and mamma's cookin' do bless the heart.

(PS We're called to the north for now though...)