Baby Banter #7, 8 and 9

From a woman at a local church after a Jimmy DeYoung lecture:
Are you having TRIPLETS?!

Yes. Yes, I am. Very small triplets. If you add all their sizes together, they add up to be about the size of one normal 32-week baby (at the present, about 4 pounds and 19 inches long).


Beloved pastor after the Jimmy DeYoung lecture:
She’s pregnant!

Don't even play. You knew that already!


From Jimmy DeYoung after the Jimmy DeYoung lecture:
Hey, Mama!

Suddenly, I’ve become everybody’s mama, even Jimmy DeYoung’s! Funny, we don’t resemble each other at all. I’m missing the receding fro and the great broadcast voice.

Baby Banter #6

From my dear husband after I made a joke about unloading a watermelon from his vehicle (something I knew I would not be allowed to lift):

"You can't do that! You already have one!"

It might not have looked it, I'm pretty sure that watermelon was bigger than my watermelon! And it was very tasty.

Don't be a stuck in the mud

“Dead Sea peril: sinkholes swallow up the unwary”

That was a headline today. Unbeknownst to Yahoo! News, that is not news to me. The Dead Sea is one big sinkhole. My time stuck there was more like 5 minutes than 14 hours, but I got stuck nonetheless. Fortunately, my brave rescuer (Gunter) was close by to drag out my salty, miry self.

Stuck is about the only thing you can get at the Dead Sea. If you’re looking to learn about Biblical history, floating or mud that burns your skin, the Dead Sea is a neat place.




If you’re looking for a gorgeous ocean and a nice spa, try Destin, Florida.

Thoughts on the drive home

Don't text while driving, especially on winding country roads. That means you, huge shiny pickup truck crossing over into my lane!

You know you're from the country when a bad smell comes through your vents and you can immediately identify what kind of livestock generated said smell.

If I tilt my steering wheel as far up as it can go, maybe the airbag will hit me in the face if it were to go off instead of in the abdomen. I guess you know you're getting more mom-like when you'd prefer being hit in the face by a huge sack of air at a gazillion miles per hour.

Country roads can be so beautiful. I should stop and take a picture one of these days. I have pulled over on the side of this road before, and 2 cars stopped to check on me before 3 minutes had passed.

I'm blessed to have air conditioning, even though it doesn't seem to do much good on the way home. The car gets cool on the morning commute, but the AC is no match for the Alabama afternoon sun.

Sometimes, it takes longer to pull out at an intersection with only three cars puttering down the road than it would take in a big city.

Queen for a few more days

I’ve spent the past few nights at Mama and Daddy’s house because Gunter left me.

Wait, that doesn’t sound right.

What I mean is, he left home to take the youth on a beach retreat, so I’m vacationing at the parents’ house this week. Gunter recanted after what happened a few weeks ago and told me that I could stay at home by myself if I wanted to, but I figured it would ease a few minds if I had more supervision.

What everybody forgets, though, is that I was never alone. Bailey was there the whole time. I think she knows karate.

Staying with Mom and Dad takes me back to my last few days of college and the year before Gunter and I got married. I was doing about the same thing I am this week -- driving the same route to work, talking to Gunter on the phone each night and being treated like a queen. I think my queen status might have even been upped this week because it’s only for a few days and because I’m carrying around a large ball of grandbaby.

Mom even stole the dirty clothes out of my room.

I’m pretty sure that, soon enough, Bailey will think Grandmama and Grandaddy’s house is the happiest place on Earth when she is treated like a queen here, just as I thought my grandparents’ house was better ‘n Disney World. I’ve heard from others that my queenly days at this residence are numbered according to the arrival of the next generation of spoiled-rotten grandbabies.

We'll see. Maybe they'll at least still like me here.

Baby Banter #4 and 5

From a nursing student at a community college in Opp yesterday:

"You're so little! When I was pregnant with mine, my belly was twice that size!"

From the Winn Dixie deli lady today:

"August?! You look like you're about to have her."

On the contrary, according to my doctor, I'm measuring right on schedule. That's what Blue Cross pays them for, so I think I'll stick with the professional opinion.

Baby Banter #1, 2 and 3

Because I get so many baby comments a day, I thought it would be fun to share some of them on the blog. Keep in mind that I am NOT offended by these comments, so I hope you won’t be either.

I’ll start the series with a top 3 of the week from a lovable cutup at church. These sound mean, but you’d just have to know him (and some of you know him well).

“How’s my favorite blimp?”

“Hey, Slim.”

“There she is, protruding navel and all.”

I think “Hey, Slim” made me laugh the most. I never know what to say back.